AD Nauseam: Part - XIII

One of the deep imponderables of life, alongside those of why villains in Indian movies look villainous even when they're kissing mama, and why streetlights are strategically positioned in front of traffic lights in our beloved country, is the one concerning TV's advertising on TV.

Or specifically, colour TV's advertising on TV.

I say this because most, if not all, colour TV's trumpet their superior colour qualities (e.g. Sony Bravia), and it seems a monumental waste of time and money since

a) if I'm watching the ad on my non-Sony TV, by definition I wouldn't be able to savour the Sony colourfest since notionally my TV would be the pits colour-wise

b) if I'm watching the ad on my B&W TV, then there is nothing I can say about the intelligence of those who thought it up.

Of course, there are those intrepid TV brands which perform their own version of Star Trek and go where no other TV's have gone/will go by shunning the colour comparisons and going for cunningly for "depth of detail", e.g. Toshiba.

No, I will not repeat a) and b) above, for you are an intelligent reader. But what I will add is that it is rather flummoxing to note Master Tendulkar kneeling in front of said Toshiba TV like a man in deep prayer, ostensibly studying the nature of the pitch he presumably is to bat on pretty soon, since he has on his batting gear, and even he wouldn't be jazzing around with said gear on without some likely cause.

So having studied the pitch and its vagaries up close, Master T reaches the crease and essays a cracking square cut presumably for runs.

I mean to say, really!

Considering the form he's currently in, perhaps he should take a Toshiba TV into the dressing room with him and genuflect before it prior to going out and getting bowled as is his wont these days.

You never know.

He might score some runs (or at least find another way of getting out), and we shall forgive Toshiba its sad lack of any advertising brain.

And on to the follow-up Blackberry ads. You will have noted, I'm sure, since you are such an avid follower of Ad Nauseam, that in an earlier column, I had commented on the high promise the 'teasers' (Action now has a new symbol) had held out, and had in the same breath queried what the follow-up communication might be.

Alas, 'tis just as I feared (to quote Edward Lear).

Once again we are witness to the trite expressions of 'action' that have been there, done that ad nauseam (!!) in the oeuvre of our advertising world since time immemorial.

The man in a swamp, the man in an airplane, the woman in I can't remember…what on earth does all this have to do with a Blackberry, for God's sake? Why do we always interpret 'action' as leaving the world behind and doing bungee-jumping sorts of things? Why is BB doing another Tata Safari? Why do we have to get outlandish instead of out-of-the-box?

So much good advertising concentrates on bringing the little everyday things of life to life, as it were, in unusual ways and with novel perspectives. The tendency to exaggerate is, however, so imbued in our system that we cannot think otherwise. So we shout at each other in our films instead of converse, we keep the neighborhood awake with our bhajans because we believe the good Lord will not hear our prayers otherwise, and Arnab Goswami, bless him, never lets anyone on his panels ever complete their sentences.

I'm a BB user but I will vouch that millions of us do not jump into swamps when we see the little red light flicker. And the ads won't make us do so either.

I would have thought that there was so much exciting content advertising-wise in developing themes on the mysteries the little red light promises when it flickers on which could/would inspire some action. I know I always wonder what awaits me when the light flickers and I reach for my BB.

And that's an action in itself.

Which leads me to the really gob-smackingly awful Karbonn Smart Duple TVC's. Once again, with an alarming cocking-of snook at our intelligence, the perpetrators of this abysmal abomination of brand communication have thrown the banana-peel book at us. Believing that we do not have even the Kindergarten level of intelligence to understand what doing two things at the same time means, they have conjured up some situations so alarmingly banal that the only thing they do is explain why Indian schoolchildren came last in the worldwide PISA exam held recently.

So we have a drummer trying to shave and a man on a treadmill trying to thread a needle as examples of trying to do two things at the same time.

But I don't blame the agency. Entirely, I mean.

I blame the client for probably asking for and then approving and releasing such gormless twaddle.

On second thoughts, would they have been the chappies who participated in the PISA exam?

I wouldn't not bet on this one!

And finally, a radio spot that brought tears to my eyes.

No, not in joy, but in grief.

There is a spot running these days concerning adoption, a noble cause.

And it starts off promisingly, with the wife softly asking her husband if they can adopt a child since they cannot have one of their own.

And in the middle of this fairly emotional scene there intrudes a harsh VOICE that shouts "STOP. First register yourself with xyz…." And so on.

I mean, where is our sense of occasion and empathy? Adoption is such an emotive and delicate issue and needs to be treated with softness and empathy.

Yes, there is a caveat that needs to be given, i.e. the need to adopt through an authorized agency, but even this could have been done in a suitable way, e.g. the VOICE could have said "What a noble thought" or some such, and then carried on to say that they should remember to register themselves first.

But instead it sounds as if the couple is planning a kidnap or a quickie in the park.

Sad.

Just illustrates why we Indians are considered bereft of finer feelings for others.

So let me end on a high note.

The Crabtree Switches TVC with Rajat Kapoor is a small gem that deserves note and praise.

The simple way he's able to communicate the qualitative difference between ordinary Switches and Crabtree by using the "tea is tea" contrast when he stops at the dhaba after asking his wife whether she wanted a cup of tea is so refreshingly low-key and thus so impactful and memorable.

No one shouts or uses idiotic scenarios to make a point.

There is no jingle.

Just an everyday incident used in a manner that makes the point clearly and intelligently.

And that's the operative word.

When advertisers start respecting our intelligence, then India will awake to life and freedom, with apologies to JL Nehru.